You may be wondering why I decided to name this website “Balls and Balloons”. After all, that’s not a terribly descriptive title. What could “Balls and Balloons” possibly mean?
When E was just 2 years old, I wrote a post called “Balls and Balloons” on a personal blog that I sporadically maintained to share photos and information with friends and family. We had recently spent 4 weeks (5 days per week, 8 hours per day) at an intensive feeding clinic helping E learn to eat pureed foods. If desired, you can read the full post here at The Analogy of Balls and Balloons.
Description of Balls and Balloons
For convenience sake, however, here are some excerpts from that post:
During E’s class at school on Wednesday morning, there is a parent group available that meets in the same building.
My favorite session of parent group was done again last week. I want to tell you about it, because it hit home to me.
The parents all stood in a circle in the room. We were suppose to represent our family. One person was given a tennis ball, and then that person chose someone to throw the ball to. Person 2 chose another person to throw the ball to. Person 3 chose another person to throw the ball to…etc., until the ball arrived back at Person 1. We then had to memorize that pattern.
Person 1 then had to name a responsibility that they had to perform regularly. The ball in their hand represented that responsibility – for instance, feeding our family. We then threw the ball around the circle (following the pattern we had established). We all agreed that keeping just that one ball in the air was fairly simple!
Then Person 2 was given a ball and had to name a responsibility that they had to perform daily. The ball in their hand represented that responsibility, such as disciplining our children. We then threw both balls around the circle. It was a little harder than with 1 ball, but we still did fairly well keeping them both in the air.
We continued adding balls to the circle until there was one ball per person. Although it became increasingly difficult to keep all those balls in the air with each one added, we found that, once we had our system down and got into a routine, we did a pretty good job! It took a lot more concentration, but we could generally keep all the balls in the air without too much stress.
THEN….
just when we had it figured out…
a BALLOON was added to the circle. This balloon represented our special needs child, and all that goes along with having a child with special needs. We were supposed to keep that balloon in the air, tossing it around the circle, as well as keep all the balls in the air.
Lessons from Balls and Balloons
We learned some very interesting things from this exercise.
- Once the balloon was introduced, the balls that we kept in the air before with no problem started dropping EVERYWHERE!
- Nobody was willing to let the balloon drop. No matter what else happened, that balloon was staying in the air! One mom even hit the ground trying to keep the balloon from falling.
- One mom, when the balloon was first introduced, said, “What are we supposed to do with this?” I think any parent to a special needs child recognizes that feeling – the realization when your child is first diagnosed of “How do I handle this diagnosis? How do I raise a child with this disability? How do I get my child the help he/she needs?”
- We found that it was easier to keep the balloon in the air if we moved closer together. But one mom struggled with that and actually took a step back – she needed more space to cope with the balloon. That made us realize that we each respond a little differently to the balloons in our life.
- We also discussed the fact that balloons can be more than just a special needs child. Perhaps your balloon is…illness…marriage troubles…a rebellious teenager…single parenting…divorce…mental illness…Regardless, most of us, at one time in life or another, will have a balloon…or two…or three. Sometimes that balloon is somewhat permanent…sometimes it is temporary. Regardless, it makes it a whole lot harder to keep the balls in the air.
More Lessons from Balls and Balloons
It has been over 8 years since I wrote that post, and somehow that lesson about juggling balls and balloons has stuck with me. I’ve come back to it over and over, both when I’ve had new balloons thrown my way, and when others that I love have had balloons thrown into their lives. I’ve learned a few more things about balloons in that time:
- Balloons can be both positive and negative. A new house…a new baby…a new job…a new church…a new marriage…even new friends…all can be wonderfully positive things! However, they are still a balloon that requires extra juggling.
- Life often involves multiple balloons at once. When that happens, it is almost impossible to keep all the balls in the air. This is OK.
- Balloons can be incredibly overwhelming, so if you have a support network that can help you, please ask them for help! Being able to pass off a ball or two to someone else to juggle for awhile will help immensely.
- All children are balloons at times – not just those with special needs. They all require attention and love, and therefore, there are times where that attention and love require balls to get dropped.
- A good stash of chocolate can really help you deal with balloons. Or maybe that’s just for me…
- Some balloons are very visible – a battle with cancer, the death of a loved one, birth of a new child, etc. It tends to be easy to find support for these balloons. Some balloons are mostly invisible – chronic pain, mental illness, marital struggles, addictions, etc.. Finding support for the invisible balloons can be more difficult than for visible balloons, but the support can still be there!
- One person’s ball may be another person’s balloon. What is extremely stressful for me may be easy to handle for you, and vice versa. That doesn’t mean we should discount that balloon for someone else.
- Similarly, we can’t compare balloons. I’ve often had someone talk to me about the struggles they’re having to get their child to gain weight…and then immediately apologize and say, “But it’s nothing like what you went through with E!” While that may be true, it doesn’t reduce the fact that their struggles with their child are still stressful! It may still be a balloon and be difficult to juggle nonetheless.
- God gives grace during even the most difficult balloons. I’ve had people say, “I just don’t know how you do it” regarding different situations in my life, and the true answer is that I can’t handle some of these situations any better than anyone else without God’s help.
Balls and Balloons Blog Name
So, why did I name this blog “Balls and Balloons?” Because I’d like to write about it all – both the ordinary and the extraordinary. I want to be honest and real here about my own struggles to keep balls and balloons in the air, while sharing tips that have worked for us with various balls and balloons.
I don’t know what balls and balloons you are juggling right now, but if you’re struggling to keep them all in the air, please know that you are not alone…and you are welcome here, struggles and all. If you are one of those people who manages to juggle everything well, then you’re welcome here, too…because I would LOVE to learn from you!